I am Rahab

Smile Again
A Poem by Marlene Carson, founder of Rahab's Hideaway

I remember when I could smile, it seems so long ago
I was a sweet and happy child with so much to live for
A pretty brown little girl, unblemished and unaware
So young and unbelieving, no reason to beware

Perpetrators were out there with sweet lies I longed to hear
Those lies were preparations to bring confusion, control and fear
I was only 15 years old, never really had a chance
Never asked to a prom, never seen a high school dance

No love or romance just degrading situations
Forced into prostitution, trafficked across the nations
The situations I was facing was programed and organized
While those whom I depended on chose to close their eyes

They say guys will be guys, it's just money for sex
But it's really about abuse, misuse, and total disrespect
I had to disconnect, the reality was too devestating
The sex acts were degrading and soon I started hating

All the time I was waiting for chances to brake free
But my young mind was controlled by a P.I.M.P.
Psychological I was under his spell
So to make him happy I would go through living hell
The lies he would tell was sweet music to my hears
I would sell my soul just to keep him near

For so many years I lived in bondage like a slave
Until one day I saw the light and heard a voice say be brave
Now Things people called me I no longer answer to
I learned the poison in  your ears can cause cancer to- so 

Now I answer to the one who will never leave me
Never hurt or disrespect me never lie or deceive me
Now people believe me when I say that I am free
I take no credit see my blessing comes from he
Who will do just what he said
Give me a new life when I was spiritually dead
With pure thoughts in my head -and peace in my soul.

I now follow him and give him full control
And all I know is he chose to hold my hand and use me as his tool
And I will follow his command
So now here I stand not afraid to face the world
And I can smile again like back when I was a little girl.