I'm finding this project to be more difficult than I thought it would be, but also so much more rewarding than I anticipated. Getting up every morning and getting dressed, I find myself silently cursing the dress. I want to wear jeans or sweatpants, and not have to worry about a low cut neckline. I miss my t-shirts and hoodies. But, despite my silent angst towards to the dress, I am becoming more and more convinced everyday that this project is what I am meant to be doing right now.
I know I've talked about how wearing this dress is gaining more attention than protests or posters do because people are genuinely interested when they ask me about it. I'm able to reach people on a more personal level because they are open to hearing what I have to say, and are innately curious about why I would wear the "same freaking thing every day" (quoted from a friend in disbelief of my commitment). Probably 40-50 people have asked me about it, and I've been able to talk about it with them all. The normal reaction I get is 1) Can you wash it? and 2) I didn't know there was human sex trafficking in Ohio. The first question amuses me- and yes, I do wash it! The second question saddens me. We live in such a delusional state as Americans that we think the problems that plague other countries don't affect us, or that we are somehow immune to them. I don't want to start a debate about the mindset of Americans, I'm just telling you what I see to be true.
Spouting statistics, I watch as people become more and more uncomfortable. Starting with the worldwide statistics and stories of human trafficking, there is a look of wonder, possibly sadness, over the prospect of the worldwide victims. But, when I bring the conversation closer to home, Ohio in particular, the first thing I see is disbelief, then disgust. "That can't be happening in Ohio! Why wouldn't the government do something about it if it is?" A fair question. And one I cannot answer.
Yes, human sex trafficking occurs in Ohio. The FBI even cites Toledo as third on their watch list for sex trafficking recruitment. Government estimates state that there are over 3,000 sex slaves in Ohio alone! With this statement, cue a look of nausea on people's faces. Knowledge can be painful.
I am grateful that I am able to educate people about this horrible situation. My advocacy can hopeful lead more people to become impassioned about it and hopefully do something! I want nothing more than to plant the seeds that can lead people into the fight against trafficking.
Like I said before, I am continuing to realize more and more that I was meant to do this project. It is not only a project for a good cause, but a learning experience. God is using this to help teach me patience, perseverance, and what it means to be truly dedicated to something. I have always felt like I was a pretty patient person, able to do what needed to be done with little headache. But I am slowly losing my patience as I wait for October to end. It seems so easy to just take the dress off and return to normal, but that's not what I know I should do. I have to persevere, to push though everyday as I count down til November (19 days for anyone who's curious). This is what it means to be truly dedicated. To do what I know I need to, regardless of my resentment or negativity towards it. I have to remember what it's all about. Because it's not about me, but about the victims stuck in the cycle of abuse, and about honoring God through my attempts to free his beloved children from bondage. It's about my learning to put myself last and God first.
Every time I start to feel resentful towards the dress and the project, someone comes up and asks about it. I believe that this is God, urging me to continue. He sends someone in to remind me of my true purpose every time I start to give in. And I am forever thankful for that nudge.
So, keep asking. Keep fighting. And if you feel helpless and want to do something, check out the "how you can help" tab at the top of the blog.
"I can do all this through him who gives me strength." ~ Philippians 4:13
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